Peacemaker Final Summary Part 11


Peacemaking Is… A Biblical Journey from Conflict to Reconciliation

Conflict is one of life’s inevitable realities. Every relationship—whether in marriage, church, workplace, or community—faces moments of tension, disagreement, and hurt. How we respond to these conflicts can either lead to deeper division or to healing and restoration.

Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker offers a profoundly biblical and practical guide to approaching conflict. At its heart, peacemaking is not about avoiding conflict or winning arguments, but about embracing a redemptive path that honors God, restores relationships, and reflects Christ’s love.

Here’s a comprehensive summary of what peacemaking truly is—and what it is not.

What Peacemaking Is Not

Many people think peacemaking means simply staying silent or pretending everything is okay. Others imagine it as aggressively defending their position or attacking the other person. Sometimes, people enable harmful behaviors by ignoring problems or sweeping conflicts under the rug. These approaches do not bring peace; they often worsen conflict and damage relationships.

Peacemaking is not:

  • Avoiding conflict: Walking away without resolution may delay pain but rarely heals wounds. Unaddressed issues fester and grow.
  • Winning arguments: Treating conflict as a battle to be won prioritizes ego over relationship.
  • Being passive or aggressive: Either extreme avoids true communication and understanding.
  • Pretending problems don’t exist: Ignoring or denying conflict is a form of deception that robs relationships of honesty.
  • Attacking others: Hostility only escalates conflict and damages trust.
  • Enabling harmful behavior: Ignoring sin or wrongdoing under the guise of peace is neither peace nor justice.

What Peacemaking Truly Is

Ken Sande redefines peacemaking as a courageous, humble, and proactive journey toward restoration and God’s glory. It’s a gospel-centered process that engages truth and love simultaneously.

Peacemaking is:

  • Facing conflict with truth and love: Peacemakers refuse to run from difficult conversations. They speak honestly but gently, seeking to understand and be understood.
  • Glorifying God: Every act of peacemaking reflects God’s desire for unity and redemption. Our goal is not just peace between people, but peace that honors God’s holiness and grace.
  • Restoring relationships: The ultimate aim is reconciliation—repairing broken bonds and walking forward in renewed fellowship.
  • Proactive and redemptive: Peacemaking involves taking initiative to prevent conflict from escalating and to foster healing.
  • Humble: Peacemakers acknowledge their own faults, listen well, and are willing to admit mistakes.
  • Confessing: Personal confession is essential. It builds trust and removes barriers to reconciliation.
  • Forgiving: Forgiveness is a deliberate choice and ongoing process, extending grace even when we have been deeply wronged.
  • Reconciling: Peacemakers pursue restored relationships, often requiring patience, perseverance, and time.

The Heart of Peacemaking: Confessing, Forgiving, Reconciling

Sande teaches that peacemaking begins with the humble act of self-examination. Recognizing and confessing our own contributions to conflict opens the door for others to respond in grace. Using tools like the Seven A’s of Confession (address all involved, avoid “if/but/maybe,” admit specifically, acknowledge hurt, accept consequences, alter behavior, ask forgiveness) helps make confession genuine and healing.

Forgiveness is central—not to excuse wrongdoing or deny pain, but to release the offense and refuse to let it define or destroy the relationship. Sande defines forgiveness with four key promises: not dwelling on the offense, not bringing it up against the person, not talking about it to others, and not allowing it to hinder the relationship. Forgiveness must often be repeated, reflecting God’s patient grace.

Finally, reconciliation is the beautiful fruit of confession and forgiveness. It means rebuilding trust and relationship, often requiring time and grace from both sides.

Peacemaking Is a Process, Not a One-Time Event

Peacemaking rarely happens instantly. It’s a process that requires humility, prayer, patience, and perseverance. It involves honest conversations, extending grace, setting boundaries when necessary, and sometimes seeking outside help like mediation or accountability.

Sande reminds us that sometimes conflicts need to be handled privately first, but other times, assisted peacemaking through mediators, arbitrators, or community accountability is essential for healing.

Peacemaking in Different Areas of Life

One of The Peacemaker’s strengths is its application of these biblical principles in various real-life contexts:

  • Marriage: Peacemaking fosters intimacy through humility, confession, and quick forgiveness.
  • Church: It protects unity and witness by encouraging restoration over punishment.
  • Workplace: Peacemaking promotes respect, professionalism, and cooperation.
  • Legal disputes: It prioritizes reconciliation and warns against escalating conflicts unnecessarily through litigation.
  • Leadership: Servant-hearted leaders model humility and promote peace within communities.

In every context, the same principles apply—early humility and ongoing relational integrity are key to preventing and resolving conflict.

Why Peacemaking Matters

Peacemaking matters because it reflects the heart of the gospel. God made peace with us through Christ’s sacrifice (Colossians 1:20), and He calls us to be peacemakers who reflect His reconciling love (Matthew 5:9).

Choosing peacemaking means rejecting worldly patterns of anger, revenge, and division. Instead, it means embracing the gospel’s call to live humbly, confess boldly, forgive graciously, and love sacrificially.

In a world filled with broken relationships and hostility, peacemakers shine as lights of hope and healing.

Final Encouragement

If you are in the midst of conflict, or if you want to grow as a peacemaker, remember this: peacemaking is not passive or easy, but it is powerful and transformative.

It starts with a heart willing to face the hard truth, confess personal fault, forgive others, and seek restoration. It requires dependence on God’s Spirit, wisdom, and grace.

May we be peacemakers who embody Christ’s love—courageous in truth, gentle in spirit, humble in heart, and relentless in pursuing peace.

Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker reminds us that peacemaking is not about pretending, attacking, or enabling, but about confessing, forgiving, and reconciling—reflecting the gospel in every relationship we cherish.

 

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