Rooted in Jesus Grace

The Slippery Slope of Conflict Responses: Choosing the Path of Peacemaking Conflict is inevitable. Whether at work, in families, or among friends, disagreements arise—and how we respond can make all the difference between healing and harm. Ken Sande’s  The Peacemaker  offers a vivid visual tool that captures the spectrum of human responses to conflict, called  The Slippery Slope of Conflict Responses . This framework not only helps us understand the choices before us but also challenges us to live as peacemakers—those who handle conflict with honesty, humility, and the gospel. Understanding the Slippery Slope Sande’s slippery slope divides conflict responses into  three broad categories , each representing a different posture toward conflict and its resolution: Escape Responses Peacefakers Peacemaking Responses Attack Responses Peacebreakers Denial Flight Suicide  Overlook Reconcile Negotiate Mediate Arbitrate Accountability  Assault Litigation Murder ...

Conflict is an unavoidable part of human relationships — even in Christian community. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, a betrayal by a family member, or hurt within the church, we all face situations where reconciliation is needed. But what exactly does reconciliation look like? In  The Peacemaker , Ken Sande wisely points out something many overlook:  not all reconciliation is the same . In our pursuit of peace, we must understand that restoration can take different forms depending on repentance, safety, trust, and spiritual maturity. Let’s explore the  three levels of reconciliation  and how each can honor God and reflect His wisdom. 1. Full Reconciliation This is the ideal. In  full reconciliation , the relationship is not only repaired — it is  restored  to its former closeness or even improved. Trust, once broken, is  rebuilt through time, honesty, and mutual grace . This level of reconciliation is marked by open communication, hear...

When someone has wronged us, our natural reactions can vary widely. Some of us might withdraw and build walls. Others may lash out in anger or seek revenge. Many may avoid confrontation altogether, hoping the problem will just go away. But the Bible calls us to a different approach—one rooted in humility, grace, and love. Ken Sande’s  The Peacemaker  offers a clear, practical roadmap for restoration that can transform conflict into an opportunity for healing and growth. Central to this is the principle of  gently restoring others  when they have wronged us. The Starting Point: Go Privately First Jesus provides the foundational guideline for restoration in  Matthew 18:15 : “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” This instruction is profound in its simplicity. When someone offends us, our first step should be  private and personal . This respects the dignity of...

Forgiveness is often talked about as a quick fix—something you  do  once and then move on. But anyone who has wrestled with real hurt knows it’s rarely that simple. Forgiveness can feel like a mountain too high to climb, especially when the wounds cut deep or the offender shows no remorse. Ken Sande, in his foundational book  The Peacemaker , offers a biblical framework that reshapes how we understand forgiveness. It’s not a vague feeling or a one-time event. It’s a  decision  and a  process —rooted in grace and sustained by God’s power. Biblical Forgiveness: Four Promises That Define It Sande defines forgiveness with four clear promises that shape how we live it out: When I forgive you, I promise: I will not dwell on this incident. I will not bring this incident up and use it against you. I will not talk to others about this incident. I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our relationship. Each of these promises challenges common mis...